It's happening..
Wow, really Linnea? I have not written in forever but I do have my reasons (I will get to that later).
But the thing is, I am in. I got accepted. I am moving to the US in a year. Now the process is going to start and I will have so much to write about!
How I feel?
I am excited, yet terrified. When I got the mail from STS in my mailbox (including the rules and an accepting letter), so many feelings hit me. I was super excited - getting to be a part of something so big, finding a way towards my dreams. But I was also so scared. For a fact, even terrified. I just could not believe in myself. I could not believe that I would actually manage to pack all of my important belongings in a bag of 23 kilos, move across the world, live a new life and leave everything else behind. So I had to stop for a while. Spend some time thinking, wondering if this was really something for me. If I am ready. I did have approximately a month before I had to pay the first payment, and in that way secure my spot. So in that time me and my family actually went to the USA, on vacation. And I did write to some other exchange students, asking them if my behavior was normal, because I was so confused. I did not want to disappoint anyone, most certainly not myself. I have not told many people about me signing up for this programme, but I did not want to seem like a loser to the ones I have told, saying I was too scared. But obviously I could not let such thought control my choice!
But I came to the conclusion - I can not let anything stop me. And in the end, all of the things I was worried about ended up being positive, because spending time without my family, leaving everything behind, would allow me to grow as a person and that is one of the main reasons I wanted to do this in the first place.
